I wanted to keep a record of dealing with Bipolar Disorder and a relatively high functioning life. I was diagnosed in ’91 and have since taken 2 degrees and held a couple of different full-time jobs. In the last 8 years I have taken a total of 2 1/2 years off to recover from major episodes, but I am now working part-time and taking my Master’s degree part-time.
It is easier for me to be totally ill and give up all together than to be a little bit ill and try to keep the rest of my life going. There are some resources for people who are not working, like meetings and classes. But they are all during the time when I work, so I can’t really take advantage of them. Sometimes I just want to let go of my life and wallow in being ill, divest myself of all my responsibilities.
I have a great therapist and a very good shrink, who don’t let me get away with much, and that has been instrumental in keeping my life together.
At the moment things are going very well, so we’ll see how I do with school and work over the next few months. The fall is always a tough season for me, but so far so good.